yesterday i went to my lil sister's graduation party. it was the first time i had to say goodbye because of my trip. since school got out on friday, things have become a lil more real, but saying goodbye yesterday made it even more real. it was like "holy crap this is really happening!"
i have had a lot of donations lately and i am extremely grateful for all of them. people have donated toothpaste, toothbrushes, more jerseys (i'm now at 35), socks, money... the list keeps going and all of this just reaffirms the very true reality that God will provide.
it's crazy in this american world that we live in, we have very little reason to rely on God and His provisions. but every time He has sent me somewhere, every time He says "Go!" i am reminded of His faithfulness to provide. and as i look forward to my future in missions, one day being a long term missionary in field, i have no doubt that He will provide, because He has put it in my heart to do these things and these things are His will according to His Word (Matthew 28, James 1:27)
people keep asking me "are you nervous?" "are you scared?", the answer is yes i am a lil nervous at times, but that nervousness quickly subsides and is replaced with faith and excitement. faith because i wouldn't be going if it weren't for God providing the funds for my flight through my grandfather. faith because i know He has sent me. excitement because i know this trip will change my life, that it will bring clarity to my future plans and that it will cement the things that God has already put in my heart to do. i know these things because i have asked and i know that God being the Good Father that he is will give me those things.
i have been reminded lately of my past ... i know now, because of the last few years, that i will never be truly happy outside of God and His Will for my life. i have tried it the world's way and it brought nothingness to my life. there were good times, fun times, but in the end when i laid in my bed in the darkness of the night there was nothingness. there was no purpose, no reason, no life, no joy... but with God... ha... there is an endless amount of everythingness and it's wonderful.
this is my last week in the states for 6 wks, my last weekend is coming up... last time i will see people, spend time with people, for 6 wks. so many things to do... so many people to see... God prepare me. God prepare my family and friends.
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