My Facebook status currently says, "I'm coming home, I'm coming home. Tell the world I'm coming home." it's been one helluva ride to say the least! 6 total countries in a little over 6 weeks! I've slept in 13 different beds in those weeks. I've been hosted by 5 families, most of which Iris and I had never met until they showed up to pick us up! I've spent over 5 days en route since I left Madison and it will be over 6 days by the time I get back. So I've spent almost a week of those 6 wks and change traveling! Lol what a ride huh?
To say I'm different because of this trip would be the understatement of the summer. When you constantly have no idea what's next, when yu are constantly at other people's mercy and grace, these only One you can depend on. This trip has successfully pushed me into My Father's arms. I have realized that in the end I have no control over anything. I cannot make one things happen, but I can ask my Almighty Father who is the creator of the universe to do anything.
It's hard to describe all that has happened in my life since I left Madison, but this is my attempt at debriefing.
I thin the hardest thing for me has been all the traveling. If I never have to get on another overcorwded bus/taxi where the windows don't work or I never have to get on another long distance bus it will be too soon! As much as I hated these events, they were a must. They taught me to look forward to the future and in the Christian walk that's exactly what we should always be doing. They also gave me time to think and process. I used this time to think about my life, my Savior, the work that He has given me to do, the future and relationships. I can't say the latter was always beneficial. In fact a lot of the time I was fighting with my mind and heart over these things and sorting out hurts. I don't know why people hurt other people, but I suppose it has something to do with selfishness and self-centeredness and in a lot of cases out right lostness. There are some relationships I still have not come to terms with. I still haven't completely forgiven them for their trepasses against me, though every day and sometimes hrs in the day I find myself fighting to find within myself the grace and mercy to forgive them. It's what I have to do, because I cannot refuse to forgive when my Gracious God has forgiven me so much. In this I have learned to ask God not to help me forgive but to be my forgiveness, to be my mercy, my compassion, my grace, to be all the things I cannot be, that I cannot find within myself.
I also hated the inconsistency. Being in so many different beds, so many different homes, living outta suitcase, constantly packing up and unpacking. I hated sharing a bed. I haven't slept a night through since I left Madison. I'm tired. But isnt this the kind of life that Jesus sent the disciples out to live? He told them not to even take a bag, but to depend on e kindness of strangers, brothers and sisters. I have to say that the hospitality if those we stayed with continues to amaze me. I made the comment once to someone that I felt these people had no choice because they were Christians. I later wondered if this was wrong, but it isn't. We are the body of Christ. It's our job to take care of each other. Even more so when we take people in, feed them, give them a roof over their heads, help provide for their needs, when we do these things we are really doing them to Christ. So then, would we deny Christ? And do we Really even have a choice? Most Christian Americans suck at this. We put people up in hotels instead of inviting them into our homes. We take them out to eat instead of preparing a meal for them and inviting them into our homes. But that's if we do anything at all. Typically we expect them to make their own arrangements. I cannot tell you how it felt knowing that you would get off a bus after 17 hrs and someone would be waiting for you. They would take your bags for you recognizing how tired you were. They would take you to their house, feed you or offer you tea. They would provide you with hot water to shower and give you a warm bed to sleep on, even if that meant they would sleep on a couch or a floor. I also cannot tell you how it felt when we arrived after 14 hrs and no one being there to pick you up, having to wait as it got dark and then having to make yur own arrangements. Not knowing what you would eat after having only a few snacks all day... This is a horrid feeling to say the least.
Even though I hated these things, I found God faithful in my whole trip. When I needed Him He came through. Sometimes He answered prayers I had only just breathed or subconsciously thought. Smetimes He made a way before we even knew it needed making. And the majority of e type He used His people to do it. My God is an awesome God!
My biggest fear now is that I would lose my first love. That some how I would go back to America and find myself being changed and influenced by my culture and well meaning Christians. I don't wanna be changed by them, I wanna be changed by Him. I wanna become a barbarian for Christ. (if you haven't read The Barbarian Way, heres where I tell you to buy it NOW and READ IT!) I have never wanted to be the average Joe, never wanted to be "normal" but now I see this not as want but necessity. People are dying without Jesus... Something has to be done and someone has to do it. It's about time that people read the new testament and realized that there's no such thing as a call to missions or a heart for local missions and a heart for foreign missions. Jesus said go into the world. Gods will is that NO ONE should die without Him.the only call is from Jesus for us to accept Him and His way. Once we have done this we have accepted the call to missions. I am not saying that we should all sell everything and give it to the poor, but we should be asking God if we should do it instead of assuming He would never ask us to. I'm also not saying that everyone should move overseas, but I think we should be asking God if He would have us to instead of just sitting in comfort. Everyone should be doing something to reach the people around them, but not just stopping there. They should be doing something to reach those across the seas and oceans. We have the resources to wipe out poverty in this generation... And we have the resources to preach the gospel to the world... So what are we doing? I don't believe that I will stand before God one day and He will be ashamed of me for selling out for Him, for becoming a barbarian for Him. But I think if I stood before Him next to someone I could've fed or clothed or hugged or loved... And I didn't... Then I will be ashamed... And I will wish I had done more. I don't wanna wish I had done more... And so I'm gonna choose a different path. A path that won't make sense to some (much like the paths of the greats of the bibles didn't make sense to others at the time) and I'm gonna run down it, as fast as I can! I'm going to run the race that God has set before me, because after all He's done for me, how could I not?
Here's to the next year of my life and the years to come! Here's to my God! He's to our future together! Here's to eternity with Him and all my brothers and sisters! Amen!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
from Lesotho to QwaQwa
Lesotho was wonderful. it was peaceful and quiet. we played soccer with the kids and helped them with their Math. we climbed a very high mountain and looked out across the land. constantly i was reminded of how great and how good my God is.
today we are back in QwaQwa, going to visit Amanda's mom and grandmother on Monday. Thursday i leave to come home. it's all so crazy but i am very excited about all that God is teaching me and laying on my heart.
thanks for all the prayers! He has been listening and answering! He truly provides for our every need, even before we know that we need those things.
sorry for the short post, but internet is time and time is money! literally! lol
love you all! see you soon!
today we are back in QwaQwa, going to visit Amanda's mom and grandmother on Monday. Thursday i leave to come home. it's all so crazy but i am very excited about all that God is teaching me and laying on my heart.
thanks for all the prayers! He has been listening and answering! He truly provides for our every need, even before we know that we need those things.
sorry for the short post, but internet is time and time is money! literally! lol
love you all! see you soon!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Great morning!
So excited! I justskyped with daddy and mom! They saw me and Isawthem and Zoe! It was fantastic! I miss them so much!
Made it to harrismith! Here with Amanda now anditsfrezing! During the day it's warm but u freeze at night. It's like a beast and u can't hide from it! Lol
Excited for the next few days. Will meetamandas family, go to Lesotho and hopefully we will make it to a gamereserveof some kind because I want to get pics. But we will see!
Godis working on my heart and my attitude. It's so easy to become ensnared in the traps of the devil! He just slips in before u know it and boom! The u r trapped and u just realize "crap! I've been stuck for days andi didn't know it!" that's when urealize all the signs...that devil is a tricky one!prayingGod will change my heart and attitude
Still so happy I saw mommy and daddy! Ahhh I miss them so much! Won't be long and I'll be with them again! Funny though it took 4 wks for this to happen! Haha
Made it to harrismith! Here with Amanda now anditsfrezing! During the day it's warm but u freeze at night. It's like a beast and u can't hide from it! Lol
Excited for the next few days. Will meetamandas family, go to Lesotho and hopefully we will make it to a gamereserveof some kind because I want to get pics. But we will see!
Godis working on my heart and my attitude. It's so easy to become ensnared in the traps of the devil! He just slips in before u know it and boom! The u r trapped and u just realize "crap! I've been stuck for days andi didn't know it!" that's when urealize all the signs...that devil is a tricky one!prayingGod will change my heart and attitude
Still so happy I saw mommy and daddy! Ahhh I miss them so much! Won't be long and I'll be with them again! Funny though it took 4 wks for this to happen! Haha
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Pretoria
we hopped on a bus yesterday at 3pm and arrived here in Pretoria at 8:30am. If i never have to ride another long-distance bus again it will be too soon. 4 hrs i can handle, even 6 is ok, but overnighters and 12+ hrs... ugh! i didn't go to sleep until 2am and even then it was fitful sleep. i have a crink in my neck lol i find people on buses to be very inconsiderate (as Americans would think anyway) and almost brinking on rude. i think it's cultural difference too, but i couldn't help but feel resented by a lot of people on that bus. i haven't felt like that in quite some time.
really really really enjoyed my time in Zim with the Doyles. that family is awesome! i am praying that God rains down blessings on them and also that we get to spend time together again. i enjoyed my talks with both Sean and Kim. Both had plenty of advice and wisdom to hand down to me. i am pretty sure i will be looking into TEAM, the organization they are with, when i return home. they have a 1-2 yr committment and they are very good about placing you where you will work best. excited to see how those things go.
i keep thinking about home and for once i am excited to return. yes i'm missing everyone and i miss routine and my own bed, but more than that i am excited that God has given me something to do when i return. i have been talking through things with Kim and with others about care-packages for the migrant families in Madison. waiting to hear back from some people, but Kim and i were discussing the kinds of things to put in them and how it would work. i am super excited to start this when i return. also i am excited about the widows ministry that i am hoping to create. a ministry where younger widows, or younger people fix supper once a week and go to the home of a widow/widower to share a meal with them. i think one of the greatest hurdles for a widow to cross is loneliness and i don't know that this ever gets better. being able to help over a meal with this once a week, i think would be a very great thing. hoping not to just do this with one race but with many different ones. also, hoping to in some way reach older people who are housebound (either because they can no longer drive or because of illness) eventually but one thing at a time, eh?
God is still working in me, teaching me many things and opening doors for me. every where i go it seems someone has a message for me. i am always looking to see what it is He is trying to tell me. also it seems He is always sending "a Jay" to help us out. this is someone who seemingly comes out of nowhere right when we need it. i am always looking for these too :)
God has been so gracious and kind to us, taking care of our every need. i love Him so much... and His love for me continuely amazes me. looking forward to the future and His plans for me
pray for Iris, she is in bed sick. i don't know what's wrong with her, maybe a bad case of the flu, but pray for her healing.
thanks for all the continuous prayers, thoughts and kind words. love you all! 2 weeks and some change :)
really really really enjoyed my time in Zim with the Doyles. that family is awesome! i am praying that God rains down blessings on them and also that we get to spend time together again. i enjoyed my talks with both Sean and Kim. Both had plenty of advice and wisdom to hand down to me. i am pretty sure i will be looking into TEAM, the organization they are with, when i return home. they have a 1-2 yr committment and they are very good about placing you where you will work best. excited to see how those things go.
i keep thinking about home and for once i am excited to return. yes i'm missing everyone and i miss routine and my own bed, but more than that i am excited that God has given me something to do when i return. i have been talking through things with Kim and with others about care-packages for the migrant families in Madison. waiting to hear back from some people, but Kim and i were discussing the kinds of things to put in them and how it would work. i am super excited to start this when i return. also i am excited about the widows ministry that i am hoping to create. a ministry where younger widows, or younger people fix supper once a week and go to the home of a widow/widower to share a meal with them. i think one of the greatest hurdles for a widow to cross is loneliness and i don't know that this ever gets better. being able to help over a meal with this once a week, i think would be a very great thing. hoping not to just do this with one race but with many different ones. also, hoping to in some way reach older people who are housebound (either because they can no longer drive or because of illness) eventually but one thing at a time, eh?
God is still working in me, teaching me many things and opening doors for me. every where i go it seems someone has a message for me. i am always looking to see what it is He is trying to tell me. also it seems He is always sending "a Jay" to help us out. this is someone who seemingly comes out of nowhere right when we need it. i am always looking for these too :)
God has been so gracious and kind to us, taking care of our every need. i love Him so much... and His love for me continuely amazes me. looking forward to the future and His plans for me
pray for Iris, she is in bed sick. i don't know what's wrong with her, maybe a bad case of the flu, but pray for her healing.
thanks for all the continuous prayers, thoughts and kind words. love you all! 2 weeks and some change :)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Harare and Pretoria
i don't remember the last thing that i wrote, but i think maybe i was in Blantyre. well we made it to Harare and are thoroughly enjoying it here. it is freezing but the company is warm and inviting. Sean, Kim and Ethan are taking very good care of us. Last night we watched mcgyver and ate pizza. it was really great! i had never seen that show and thought it funny i watched my first episode in africa! sean and kim are very open to us and have been very patient as we have asked many questions about missions and life. both iris and i are trying to figure out where God would lead us next and they are been very helpful.
learning things everywhere i go. Mozambique border was horrible and my only comfort is that God says vengence is His. they refused to give us a transit visa and changed our info so it looked as if we were staying longer than we were. they did all this because they wanted us to pay $70 instead of $30. of course we were very angry and we kept asking why. the woman was very rude, refusing to answer our questions. we waited almost 2 hrs to get our visas. the other passengers on the bus were very upset with us.
zimbabwe was amazing though! they were so nice and welcoming :) it's been that way since we crossed the border.
thanking God for safe travels thus far and all His provisions. leaving tomorrow for Pretoria around 2pm. going to miss Kim and Sean's company and Ethan as well. praying God will bless them for their kindness.
missing everyone and excited about the next 17 days that are left of my trip. also excited about returning to the US and the plans God has for me there. fearful of being effected by culture when i return and also of losing my first love... when you pray remember me in these ways
love you guys!
learning things everywhere i go. Mozambique border was horrible and my only comfort is that God says vengence is His. they refused to give us a transit visa and changed our info so it looked as if we were staying longer than we were. they did all this because they wanted us to pay $70 instead of $30. of course we were very angry and we kept asking why. the woman was very rude, refusing to answer our questions. we waited almost 2 hrs to get our visas. the other passengers on the bus were very upset with us.
zimbabwe was amazing though! they were so nice and welcoming :) it's been that way since we crossed the border.
thanking God for safe travels thus far and all His provisions. leaving tomorrow for Pretoria around 2pm. going to miss Kim and Sean's company and Ethan as well. praying God will bless them for their kindness.
missing everyone and excited about the next 17 days that are left of my trip. also excited about returning to the US and the plans God has for me there. fearful of being effected by culture when i return and also of losing my first love... when you pray remember me in these ways
love you guys!
Friday, July 8, 2011
lilongwe, blantyre then harere zimbabwe
just arrived in blantyre a little over a few hours ago. we had lunch and then came back to town. we are killing time until our host gets off work. iris's cousin had friends in lilongwe who had family here so we are staying and hopefully eating for free. tomorrow morning we are going to head to see Kim Doyle, you may know her from her, Sean (her husband) and their son Ethan being at Fellowship in early spring. they are going to host us so that we can break up the 30 hr bus ride from Malawi to Pretoria South Africa.
our time in Malawi has been interesting to say the least, but God is faithful and guiding. I am still learning! haha we were able to go to a Crisis Nursery yesterday. This place takes in infants whose mothers have died and their families do not have the money to buy formula. they keep them until they are old enough to eat porridge, somewhere around the age of 2. at this time, if someone in their family wants them back they are returned to their families or villages. if not they are put into an orphanage or foster care system. one boy came weighing less than 2 lbs. he has now made it up to 2lbs, but if i remember right he has HIV and his family does not want him back. please pray for him!
the experience was amazing for me. i absolutely loved playing with the babies. but this would not have happened had God not led us to stay at African Bible College and to a team led by a man name Mike from Witchataw Tx. thank you to God and Mike.
we also visited an orphanage ran by COTN. this was another great experience. and then we finally had a malawian meal in a malawian home :) it was wonderful! i ate waaaaaay too much
thank you for your prayers and continued support. cannot wait to return home and see you all. love you
our time in Malawi has been interesting to say the least, but God is faithful and guiding. I am still learning! haha we were able to go to a Crisis Nursery yesterday. This place takes in infants whose mothers have died and their families do not have the money to buy formula. they keep them until they are old enough to eat porridge, somewhere around the age of 2. at this time, if someone in their family wants them back they are returned to their families or villages. if not they are put into an orphanage or foster care system. one boy came weighing less than 2 lbs. he has now made it up to 2lbs, but if i remember right he has HIV and his family does not want him back. please pray for him!
the experience was amazing for me. i absolutely loved playing with the babies. but this would not have happened had God not led us to stay at African Bible College and to a team led by a man name Mike from Witchataw Tx. thank you to God and Mike.
we also visited an orphanage ran by COTN. this was another great experience. and then we finally had a malawian meal in a malawian home :) it was wonderful! i ate waaaaaay too much
thank you for your prayers and continued support. cannot wait to return home and see you all. love you
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Malawi
short blog, internet is slow and expensive. though i can justify this internet expense by saying that i am helping community projects :) lol
made it to Malawi yesterday morning by ferry. we found a nice place to stay and were very satisfied until today when we came up to another place to use the internet. this place seems more purposeful, cheaper and the owner is great. i don't think we will move unless we decide stay extra nights. things seem more expensive here and we struggle to be good stewards of the money God has given us, but at the same time rejoicing and giving him glory that he has allowed us to be blessed in so many ways.
if you ask what am i doing here i will have to say learning. God is teaching me so much here on my journey and it's hard to list or to tell all of the things, but right now prayer is at the top. prayer grows our faith and our dependence on him. we should pray more than we do anything else. this is vital. every where i go i feel God has some message for me. this is good because it helps me see i am where i am suppose to be. this is different for me because in the past i have gone to work but here it seems i am to learn not just work. thank you to those of you who invested in me and my future because you believe in me.
pray for my heart, my mind, my eyes and my hands. i want all of these to be in line with God's will. i love you guys as always. hope to share more at a later time. until then pray also for direction and safe journey as we are struggling to set our itinerary based on new information.
may God's will be done in my heart, in my mind, through my hands and feet as it is in Heaven. And because He has said that if we ask in Jesus's name we will be given it, I ask in the name of the one who bled for me, washed his blood over me, died for me, rose for me and sits at the right hand of God for me, in Jesus's name I pray! AMEN!
later! ;)
made it to Malawi yesterday morning by ferry. we found a nice place to stay and were very satisfied until today when we came up to another place to use the internet. this place seems more purposeful, cheaper and the owner is great. i don't think we will move unless we decide stay extra nights. things seem more expensive here and we struggle to be good stewards of the money God has given us, but at the same time rejoicing and giving him glory that he has allowed us to be blessed in so many ways.
if you ask what am i doing here i will have to say learning. God is teaching me so much here on my journey and it's hard to list or to tell all of the things, but right now prayer is at the top. prayer grows our faith and our dependence on him. we should pray more than we do anything else. this is vital. every where i go i feel God has some message for me. this is good because it helps me see i am where i am suppose to be. this is different for me because in the past i have gone to work but here it seems i am to learn not just work. thank you to those of you who invested in me and my future because you believe in me.
pray for my heart, my mind, my eyes and my hands. i want all of these to be in line with God's will. i love you guys as always. hope to share more at a later time. until then pray also for direction and safe journey as we are struggling to set our itinerary based on new information.
may God's will be done in my heart, in my mind, through my hands and feet as it is in Heaven. And because He has said that if we ask in Jesus's name we will be given it, I ask in the name of the one who bled for me, washed his blood over me, died for me, rose for me and sits at the right hand of God for me, in Jesus's name I pray! AMEN!
later! ;)
Monday, June 27, 2011
Until we meet again
Hey guys! Leaving Dar tomorrow by bus at 6am.after a 12 hr bus ride we will arrive in songea. From there we will cross lake Malawi and head towards Lilongwe where we will hopefully visit Children of the Natins facilities. From the we go to south Africa :) excited about the experience but not the bus rides. Pray we dont get sick while traveling. Pray for guidance and safety.thanks for all ur prayers they mean so much. God is really working. If I have power, internet and time I will post more tonight before I leave... If not see you when we meet again in cyberspace!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
When God speaks
James 1:27
Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for the widows and the orphans and refuse to let the world corrupt us.
Deuteronomy 14:28-29
At the end of every third year, gather the tihe from all your produce and put it in storage... For the foreigner, the widow and the orphan in your neighborhood. That way they will have plenty to eat and God, your God, will bless you in all you do.
The widow, the foreigner and the orphan.
Psalms 68:5
Father of orphans
Champion of widows
Is God in his holy house
I think the bible is clear that God has a heart for orphans and widows, and even for the foreigners in our land. Over and over in the bible these people are mentioned. We are told to take care of them, to share with them, not to forget about them.
I think that is one thing I should work on when I return to the states. A plan to make this happen. Last night i dreamed about it, so think that it must be from God.
I would like to see a plan implemented in which a team was formed to cook supper maybe once a week. Each member of the team would go to a widowers house (probably an older person) and take a plate for each of them. The guest (team member) would have supper with the person and engage in conversation. Maybe in this way they will bring some happiness to the person they are visiting and if there are any needs they can report them and those needs can be met. Obviously this is only in the beginning of planning stages since it only came to me this morning.
I am a little more at a loss when it comes to orphans especially since I am not even aware of any in Madison. But they need similar things as the older widows do and I wonder if their needs can be met as one.
I also realize that you don't just have to be a widow to be lonely, so I think maybe having an event once a month where transportation for those in need is provided. Maybe like a lunch or dinner where people can hang out and then a little bible study at the end.
I think there should be separate programs for men and women, because women like to sit and talk but maybe men want to garden, go fishing or watch sports. Also women should go to women and men to men. I think younger widows might enjoy going to older ones, because they can identify and also those who loss their spouses young can relate and give encouragement. Again all ideas.
The foreigners. I would like to set up a plan to make family packs for the migrant workers in Madison. Like dry foods and other basic needs they may be lacking or not be able to afford and then put in a Spanish bible. These packs could be distributed to families and would hopefully say "we care about you and you are loved." maybe too if there are children, packs for them could be done. For students a backpack with school supplies and maybe something fun. For younger ones I am not quuite sure yet.
I started putting ideas to paper today. I realize that this is all just a starting points and also that maybe if I can do this in Madison, it could be replicated in another country too.
My heart has been to open an orphanage, a place where kids who have no one to love them, hug them, believ in them, tell them they are someone important and tuck them in at night can find these things. I have been pondering thru these things as of late.
This morning as I stood in church trying to worship a light-skinned kid came and stood by me like he wanted to get by. So I moved for him to go by and he stood in front of my seat but kept looking up at me. His shoes were untied so i bent down to tie them. I moved my purse and motioned for him to sit down. He sat. Later I sat down so I just lifted him onto my lap. He seemed relaxed in my lap. This kid comes out of nowhere to me, why? I felt God was saying I will send them to you. A great message. The kid sat in my lap eventually turning around to face me and falling asleep. Where was he from? Where were his parents? Why did he come to sit with me? I mean there were tons of people in the place but he chose me to sit with... Why? I still don't know the answer. The people in the church came and woke him to go to children's church or Sunday school they call it. I didn't see him again after that. Iris and I talked about it later. This was definitely weird and unusual behavior. Most kids are pretty reserved around people they do not know, but I thi God sent him to me so that I would understand the message better.
Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for the widows and the orphans and refuse to let the world corrupt us.
Deuteronomy 14:28-29
At the end of every third year, gather the tihe from all your produce and put it in storage... For the foreigner, the widow and the orphan in your neighborhood. That way they will have plenty to eat and God, your God, will bless you in all you do.
The widow, the foreigner and the orphan.
Psalms 68:5
Father of orphans
Champion of widows
Is God in his holy house
I think the bible is clear that God has a heart for orphans and widows, and even for the foreigners in our land. Over and over in the bible these people are mentioned. We are told to take care of them, to share with them, not to forget about them.
I think that is one thing I should work on when I return to the states. A plan to make this happen. Last night i dreamed about it, so think that it must be from God.
I would like to see a plan implemented in which a team was formed to cook supper maybe once a week. Each member of the team would go to a widowers house (probably an older person) and take a plate for each of them. The guest (team member) would have supper with the person and engage in conversation. Maybe in this way they will bring some happiness to the person they are visiting and if there are any needs they can report them and those needs can be met. Obviously this is only in the beginning of planning stages since it only came to me this morning.
I am a little more at a loss when it comes to orphans especially since I am not even aware of any in Madison. But they need similar things as the older widows do and I wonder if their needs can be met as one.
I also realize that you don't just have to be a widow to be lonely, so I think maybe having an event once a month where transportation for those in need is provided. Maybe like a lunch or dinner where people can hang out and then a little bible study at the end.
I think there should be separate programs for men and women, because women like to sit and talk but maybe men want to garden, go fishing or watch sports. Also women should go to women and men to men. I think younger widows might enjoy going to older ones, because they can identify and also those who loss their spouses young can relate and give encouragement. Again all ideas.
The foreigners. I would like to set up a plan to make family packs for the migrant workers in Madison. Like dry foods and other basic needs they may be lacking or not be able to afford and then put in a Spanish bible. These packs could be distributed to families and would hopefully say "we care about you and you are loved." maybe too if there are children, packs for them could be done. For students a backpack with school supplies and maybe something fun. For younger ones I am not quuite sure yet.
I started putting ideas to paper today. I realize that this is all just a starting points and also that maybe if I can do this in Madison, it could be replicated in another country too.
My heart has been to open an orphanage, a place where kids who have no one to love them, hug them, believ in them, tell them they are someone important and tuck them in at night can find these things. I have been pondering thru these things as of late.
This morning as I stood in church trying to worship a light-skinned kid came and stood by me like he wanted to get by. So I moved for him to go by and he stood in front of my seat but kept looking up at me. His shoes were untied so i bent down to tie them. I moved my purse and motioned for him to sit down. He sat. Later I sat down so I just lifted him onto my lap. He seemed relaxed in my lap. This kid comes out of nowhere to me, why? I felt God was saying I will send them to you. A great message. The kid sat in my lap eventually turning around to face me and falling asleep. Where was he from? Where were his parents? Why did he come to sit with me? I mean there were tons of people in the place but he chose me to sit with... Why? I still don't know the answer. The people in the church came and woke him to go to children's church or Sunday school they call it. I didn't see him again after that. Iris and I talked about it later. This was definitely weird and unusual behavior. Most kids are pretty reserved around people they do not know, but I thi God sent him to me so that I would understand the message better.
Friday, June 24, 2011
frustrated
yesterday we ate breakfast at shamba at 9am. besides two baby bananas we did not eat again until 7pm. our driver, that brought us back to town from shamba, took a completely different route without telling anyone and we were therefore unable to stop to eat or use the restroom. the drive took longer also. he did this because he wanted to drop money off to his brother which was out of the way... i am still amazed at how little people here consider others.
we arrived to no electricity, which wasn't the end of the world, but it wasn't what we were expecting. we ate at the chips mi ai place down the road to escape the rest of the world. when we finished we returned to the house, interacted with a few students (i think we both had more patience after having eaten), took bucket showers and went to bed.
this morning we awoke to no showers and to the sound of the water cup scraping the bottom of the water barrel. this is frustrating because the tank was filled to the rim before we left. there were two guys here and neither thought to refill the tank when it got low. no one was there to buy water from, so in order to be able to use the restroom i had to wait for iris to finish washing her undies (cause all of them were dirty and she didn't have any left) so that i would have water to flush with. in the process of this we find out there is no water, the water has been cut off completely and no one knows when it will come back on. of course this could have been prevented if the two guys here (one of which housed company) would have thought to have the decency to put water back in the tank, but they didn't.
i thought that the younger one (who is 19, first time out of the country and is from an affluent family) was going to see if he could find someone to fetch water for us (sometimes the people will go a long way to get water for you, of course it costs you, but whatever), but when he returned and i asked him about it he simply responded "oh no! i went to get my soccer cleats fixed. i saw a cart but didn't see a guy so i just kept going." i didn't even know what to say! i was beyond words! then he says "don't worry you will live!" i took a deep breath locked my jaw and left the premises as i held down all the words i wanted to say to him about his self-righteous attitude and how everything has been done for him here and he has not once offered to pay. i realize this is a teaching moment, but it also not one i am qualified to handle at the moment. or maybe i just don't want to. (as i type the electricity has come back on! so that is good, now the water?)
i do not deal well with disrespect, you could ask my students about that.
today we are meeting with a pastor to see if his church will be a partner with a church to help sponsor students. i am excited to see how this goes. i will not actually be an active participant in the conversation but these conversation are beneficial to me for experience.
we are also suppose to make a business plan for some girls that are trying to start a cake business. we are hoping to help them learn to bake cakes and then for them to be able to sell them. i hope this works well.
God help me not to hang on to my anger, to not rerun hypothetical conversations over in my head. help me to have patience and grace for those that i am lacking towards. help me to have Your heart.
we leave for our travels on Wednesday. we are not completely certain how will we get to Malawi since the information we were given before seems to not be true (we thought there was a ferry going across the lake). right now we are thinking of going through Mozambique. Pray for us as we try to figure these things out and that God will put the right people in our paths. I am excited about visiting Malawi because there will be an orphange and school but ALSO a place for widows where they teach the skills to make money. this seems to be James 1:27 played out and i'm excited to see :)
soorry for the blurb on my frustrations. hoping that now the electricity is back on we can get water. water is so essential... showering, flushing toilets, making anything, laundry, drinking... the list goes on... i guess that is why Jesus said "I am Living Water." We never run out of Him. there is never a lack of supply of Him no matter what is going on in the world around us. THANK JESUS THAT THIS IS TRUE!
working through what it is God would have me do, will write more later. thank you all for your prayers.
we arrived to no electricity, which wasn't the end of the world, but it wasn't what we were expecting. we ate at the chips mi ai place down the road to escape the rest of the world. when we finished we returned to the house, interacted with a few students (i think we both had more patience after having eaten), took bucket showers and went to bed.
this morning we awoke to no showers and to the sound of the water cup scraping the bottom of the water barrel. this is frustrating because the tank was filled to the rim before we left. there were two guys here and neither thought to refill the tank when it got low. no one was there to buy water from, so in order to be able to use the restroom i had to wait for iris to finish washing her undies (cause all of them were dirty and she didn't have any left) so that i would have water to flush with. in the process of this we find out there is no water, the water has been cut off completely and no one knows when it will come back on. of course this could have been prevented if the two guys here (one of which housed company) would have thought to have the decency to put water back in the tank, but they didn't.
i thought that the younger one (who is 19, first time out of the country and is from an affluent family) was going to see if he could find someone to fetch water for us (sometimes the people will go a long way to get water for you, of course it costs you, but whatever), but when he returned and i asked him about it he simply responded "oh no! i went to get my soccer cleats fixed. i saw a cart but didn't see a guy so i just kept going." i didn't even know what to say! i was beyond words! then he says "don't worry you will live!" i took a deep breath locked my jaw and left the premises as i held down all the words i wanted to say to him about his self-righteous attitude and how everything has been done for him here and he has not once offered to pay. i realize this is a teaching moment, but it also not one i am qualified to handle at the moment. or maybe i just don't want to. (as i type the electricity has come back on! so that is good, now the water?)
i do not deal well with disrespect, you could ask my students about that.
today we are meeting with a pastor to see if his church will be a partner with a church to help sponsor students. i am excited to see how this goes. i will not actually be an active participant in the conversation but these conversation are beneficial to me for experience.
we are also suppose to make a business plan for some girls that are trying to start a cake business. we are hoping to help them learn to bake cakes and then for them to be able to sell them. i hope this works well.
God help me not to hang on to my anger, to not rerun hypothetical conversations over in my head. help me to have patience and grace for those that i am lacking towards. help me to have Your heart.
we leave for our travels on Wednesday. we are not completely certain how will we get to Malawi since the information we were given before seems to not be true (we thought there was a ferry going across the lake). right now we are thinking of going through Mozambique. Pray for us as we try to figure these things out and that God will put the right people in our paths. I am excited about visiting Malawi because there will be an orphange and school but ALSO a place for widows where they teach the skills to make money. this seems to be James 1:27 played out and i'm excited to see :)
soorry for the blurb on my frustrations. hoping that now the electricity is back on we can get water. water is so essential... showering, flushing toilets, making anything, laundry, drinking... the list goes on... i guess that is why Jesus said "I am Living Water." We never run out of Him. there is never a lack of supply of Him no matter what is going on in the world around us. THANK JESUS THAT THIS IS TRUE!
working through what it is God would have me do, will write more later. thank you all for your prayers.
Monday, June 20, 2011
pics
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| On the way to the airport |
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| Going to help people and drinking water by a company that helps people |
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| Saw the sunset over the North Sea |
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| Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? My body only knows it's hungry |
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| Breakfast! Chai Tea and Peanut Butter on Toast |
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| Dada Irisi and Ditram |
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| Victor Pouting |
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| Irene |
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| out in the country |
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| Lutufio |
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| Ngalli |
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| Sugar Cane... an appetizer |
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| Me and Iris in our "taxi" |
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| Happy Birthday Onesmo |
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| Birthday boy feeding cake to his honored guests |
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| Iris feeding the birthday boy |
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| Fadi! He's SOOOOO cute |
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| Onesmo's family, me and Fadi |
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| Convincing Idi to go to church with us |
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| laundry day |
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| going to Juma's house on the peninsula |
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| Juma |
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| for mom, the bougainvillaeas here are beautiful and humungous! |
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Getting better
Last night was probably the highlight of my trip us far. We went to onesmo's birthday party. Birthday parties are much different here than in the states. So we got there and we were made to sit in the front with onesmo in what I would call the seats of honor. Everyone sang happy birthday and onesmo blew out his candles. Then they cut the cake into bite size pieces. Starting with me onesmo fed each of his guests one bite sized piece of cake. After he had done the ones he wanted to honor then iris fed him. After this was completed he fed the rest of his guests. Each guest that was honored had to stand while everyone sang happy birthday song and then onesmo would put the cake in their mouth, they would eat it and everyone would clap. It was funny. I think it is a great tradition because it teaches a form of servanthood. A bite is all everyone gets because often the cakes are small and pricey. Afterwards everyone danced and the kis were given chips and juice and the adults were fed rice and beans. Tis was one of the best meals yet! The problem is that they give u so much to eat and I'm always beyond full before I can finish. It's suppose to be insulting if u do not finish but I have yet to finish andi hate this. For this reason and because I haven't found a lot of things here I like to eat mealtime has become one of my least favorite times of the day :( but iris and I decided it prolly just means that this might not be the place for me...
Onesmo's family was very wonderful and lively. Iris is helping Yose, onesmo's uncle (Yose, onesmos mom, yose's brother and their sister all live together), to build an addition to his house. This will give Yose, who is studying law in college, his own room and it will give the family a proper bathroom (right now the bathroom is a hole). I am very proud of her and the things she is doing here. She goes beyond to take care of the kids often taking upon herself avoidable frustrations but she does it for the kids and for integrity's sake. This is one of many things she is doing and has done for the students.
When we returned from the party the electricity was off (it often cuts off at 6 and doesn't come back on until 11). It was very hot inside so we put on bugspray, got a candle and went on the porch where we were soon joined by about 14 students. They were laughing and playing and talking. We joked around and I tried to understand the conversations going on around me. Some of the students conversed with me in English and at was nice, but I soon found myself dozing off, so I gave up on trying to wait out the electricity and decided to take a shower by candlelight. So I got my shower and then talked with iris for a while. I finally talked with her about my struggles here, the food, the buses, the language. She was very understanding and said she felt very similar when she came back here. I really thought this would all bbe a relief, having waited so long to be back on the field, but it's not,lol. It's hard! So we talked for a while and told her how the devil seems to be playing with my mind and all my concerns. I felt better being able to say these things out loud.
This morning we got up and went to church. The church service was VERY awesome! I enjoyed it so much! It was an English service, so everything was understandable. I just felt like I use to at first assembly in Gainesville and it was wonderful. I cried and sang at the top of my voice."He knows my name! He knows my every thought! He knows each tears that falls! And He hears me when I call!" oh it was so wonderful! Then one of the pastors asked if anyone needed prayer to lift their hands to Jesus and he prayed the most beautiful prayer. With tears rolling down my face I recognized that God knows my future and remembered that He called me here! The devil has nos hold on me and God will deliver me from evil. It was great!
Called daddy for fathers day but didn't get to talk long. The Internet was too slow and it kept cutting in and out, this made me sad. I miss both of my parents very much. (another thing I wasn't expecting is to be so homesick) I am going to try to call them later.
Iris made lunch while I helped Yose with his paper for school. The funny thing is that he kept speaking to me in Swahili! I would just wait for him to speak in English or try to gather what he was saying and move on. It took a long time to revise the paper, I hope he learned something. Then we ate. Iris fixed rice and peas, it was ver good! She also made a papaya and cucumber mix tha was VERY good! I think it would be good to have in the US, but iris says that papayas in the US aren't as good as they are here. The papaya we had here was VERY good and was from the house we visited the other day outside of Dar.
Also I am feeling much better since iris gave me some travelers meds. :) haven't gotten sick but I am also laying off the sodas :) thank u Jesus!
We planned our travel itinerary today and are finalizing plans. I am excited and so is iris!
Badi! (see u later!)
Onesmo's family was very wonderful and lively. Iris is helping Yose, onesmo's uncle (Yose, onesmos mom, yose's brother and their sister all live together), to build an addition to his house. This will give Yose, who is studying law in college, his own room and it will give the family a proper bathroom (right now the bathroom is a hole). I am very proud of her and the things she is doing here. She goes beyond to take care of the kids often taking upon herself avoidable frustrations but she does it for the kids and for integrity's sake. This is one of many things she is doing and has done for the students.
When we returned from the party the electricity was off (it often cuts off at 6 and doesn't come back on until 11). It was very hot inside so we put on bugspray, got a candle and went on the porch where we were soon joined by about 14 students. They were laughing and playing and talking. We joked around and I tried to understand the conversations going on around me. Some of the students conversed with me in English and at was nice, but I soon found myself dozing off, so I gave up on trying to wait out the electricity and decided to take a shower by candlelight. So I got my shower and then talked with iris for a while. I finally talked with her about my struggles here, the food, the buses, the language. She was very understanding and said she felt very similar when she came back here. I really thought this would all bbe a relief, having waited so long to be back on the field, but it's not,lol. It's hard! So we talked for a while and told her how the devil seems to be playing with my mind and all my concerns. I felt better being able to say these things out loud.
This morning we got up and went to church. The church service was VERY awesome! I enjoyed it so much! It was an English service, so everything was understandable. I just felt like I use to at first assembly in Gainesville and it was wonderful. I cried and sang at the top of my voice."He knows my name! He knows my every thought! He knows each tears that falls! And He hears me when I call!" oh it was so wonderful! Then one of the pastors asked if anyone needed prayer to lift their hands to Jesus and he prayed the most beautiful prayer. With tears rolling down my face I recognized that God knows my future and remembered that He called me here! The devil has nos hold on me and God will deliver me from evil. It was great!
Called daddy for fathers day but didn't get to talk long. The Internet was too slow and it kept cutting in and out, this made me sad. I miss both of my parents very much. (another thing I wasn't expecting is to be so homesick) I am going to try to call them later.
Iris made lunch while I helped Yose with his paper for school. The funny thing is that he kept speaking to me in Swahili! I would just wait for him to speak in English or try to gather what he was saying and move on. It took a long time to revise the paper, I hope he learned something. Then we ate. Iris fixed rice and peas, it was ver good! She also made a papaya and cucumber mix tha was VERY good! I think it would be good to have in the US, but iris says that papayas in the US aren't as good as they are here. The papaya we had here was VERY good and was from the house we visited the other day outside of Dar.
Also I am feeling much better since iris gave me some travelers meds. :) haven't gotten sick but I am also laying off the sodas :) thank u Jesus!
We planned our travel itinerary today and are finalizing plans. I am excited and so is iris!
Badi! (see u later!)
Friday, June 17, 2011
Here we are
The days are long and hot here. The bus rides are long and the food is not always so great but you cannot say no and you have to eat it. The language is hard and not knowing it is frustrating. There is no meaning in the phrase "is bus is full", in fact that phrase doesn't exist. There is always more room if everyone will just scoot down some more, haha.
I find myself thinking of home often and all the comfort it offers. The devil speaks lines into my head trying to get me to feel sorry for myself or to focus on the things I do not like... Nothing new I don't guess. I am realizing now though that my "roughing it" adventures and trips us far were a lot more comfortable than I knew. I know that if I am to live on the mission field in the future a few accommodations will have to be made. For one I get sick on the buses because it's so hot and there are so many people. Also there is no such thing as personal space here and that makes it worse. The other is that I do not like the city. Although convenient it is the country parts that I love. Today we visited a house with quite a "farm" and I was reminded of this.
We shower with a bucket and cup, but is doesn't bother me. You can heat some water to make the shower warm, but even the cold isn't so bad because of the weather. The toilet doesn't flush so you do your business and then pour water in it until everything goes down. You aren't suppose to flush the paper you use, there's a trash can for that, but sometimes I cheat lol don't tell!
Everything here is a learning experience, a stretching process. I definitely know that before being on the field in any country knowing the language is a must! Haha
Anyway I miss everyone! Hoping to write again tomorrow... Love y'all!
I find myself thinking of home often and all the comfort it offers. The devil speaks lines into my head trying to get me to feel sorry for myself or to focus on the things I do not like... Nothing new I don't guess. I am realizing now though that my "roughing it" adventures and trips us far were a lot more comfortable than I knew. I know that if I am to live on the mission field in the future a few accommodations will have to be made. For one I get sick on the buses because it's so hot and there are so many people. Also there is no such thing as personal space here and that makes it worse. The other is that I do not like the city. Although convenient it is the country parts that I love. Today we visited a house with quite a "farm" and I was reminded of this.
We shower with a bucket and cup, but is doesn't bother me. You can heat some water to make the shower warm, but even the cold isn't so bad because of the weather. The toilet doesn't flush so you do your business and then pour water in it until everything goes down. You aren't suppose to flush the paper you use, there's a trash can for that, but sometimes I cheat lol don't tell!
Everything here is a learning experience, a stretching process. I definitely know that before being on the field in any country knowing the language is a must! Haha
Anyway I miss everyone! Hoping to write again tomorrow... Love y'all!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
First full day here in kinoni studio
The devil is a tricky one. He comes to steal kill and destroy. He creeps into our minds, tip toes into our thoughts and slides words in and if we are not careful we believe them.
Today was a bit overwhelming. Iris asked me why and I'm not sure that I can say exactly. Maybe it was the fatigue or all the walking or all the new things I was being exposed to all at once. Or may e it was my inability to carry on a conversation or even remotely follow one or e fact that most of the day I was at a complete loss as to what was going on. Or maybe it was e heat or the fact that I was just completely unsure of everything... Or maybe it was a combination of it all mixed with subtle thoughts thrown in by the devil himself.
As I took a shower tonight the water was cool and it obviously wasn't like showers at home. As I did I heard, "and u got how many wks left of this." tired as I was I immediately recognized this voice not as my own but a much more cunning and evil one... I knew this because immediately I thought "what? This isn't even that bad!"
The devil seeks to steal kill and destroy, but Christ came to give life and give it more abundantly.
It's so easy to give in to those voices, to hear them and believe them. It's easy to take the voice at his word and allow whatever dreams or correctness we had in our lives to die. That's what happened to me a whole back and I will not allow that t happen again.
So as the days go n pray for me and for iris that we would give no footholds, we wouldn't heed the words that we sometimes hear whispering I. Our ears, but that we would hold on to truth... the Truth.
Started reading Radical tonight... Absolutely wonderful! This guy is saying stuff I have been wanting to say for years, but I won't write on it now... For now I will go to bed because I'm exhausted and mosquitos are biting me lol
Usiku mwema
Today was a bit overwhelming. Iris asked me why and I'm not sure that I can say exactly. Maybe it was the fatigue or all the walking or all the new things I was being exposed to all at once. Or may e it was my inability to carry on a conversation or even remotely follow one or e fact that most of the day I was at a complete loss as to what was going on. Or maybe it was e heat or the fact that I was just completely unsure of everything... Or maybe it was a combination of it all mixed with subtle thoughts thrown in by the devil himself.
As I took a shower tonight the water was cool and it obviously wasn't like showers at home. As I did I heard, "and u got how many wks left of this." tired as I was I immediately recognized this voice not as my own but a much more cunning and evil one... I knew this because immediately I thought "what? This isn't even that bad!"
The devil seeks to steal kill and destroy, but Christ came to give life and give it more abundantly.
It's so easy to give in to those voices, to hear them and believe them. It's easy to take the voice at his word and allow whatever dreams or correctness we had in our lives to die. That's what happened to me a whole back and I will not allow that t happen again.
So as the days go n pray for me and for iris that we would give no footholds, we wouldn't heed the words that we sometimes hear whispering I. Our ears, but that we would hold on to truth... the Truth.
Started reading Radical tonight... Absolutely wonderful! This guy is saying stuff I have been wanting to say for years, but I won't write on it now... For now I will go to bed because I'm exhausted and mosquitos are biting me lol
Usiku mwema
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
i'm here... finally! :)
I made it! First impressions are that Tanzania reminds me of Haiti. The streets are littered with people even at midnight. There's a store down the street and a place to get "chips miyai" which is fried potatoes in an egg omelet thing. They put veggies on top (cukes and tomatoes) and then some tomato sauce but it's not ketchup. it was pretty good. i only ate half of it though and gave the rest to David.
i cannot express how it felt going to get the visa in my hands adn then to get my lugggage. the whole trip i dreaded the visa process because of a dream that i had where they wouldn't let me into the country. but the visa went fine and i was in and out in no time. they told me to go thru but i was kinda nervous since it looked all official and what not. so an officer told me to go and escorted me through most of it. i then waited and waited for my bags to come. i was extremely relieve to have my visa and now i could only think about my bags, but i took a deep breath and prayed then waited for what seemed like forever. finally they came and i went out, searching for Iris. when i saw her smile and wave relief washed thru me. i had made it! after 24 hours of traveling i had made it! her friends, david and ditram, took my bags and instantly made me feel really welcome.
i wanted to hug iris so big and help her understand how happy i was to be here and how glad i was to be with her. instead i drank in all that was around me and breathed deep the tanzanian air. i was here! every once in a while during the drive to Iris's place i would exclaim "i'm so happy to be here!" or "i'm in africa!" david and ditram would just laugh at me.
thank you for your prayers of safety, they worked so far. thank you for the stuff you donated. thank you for everything. until later, usiku mwea! (good night!)
i wrote this last night, but was just able to post this morning.
i watched the sunrise over the north sea, the sunset over africa and woke up this morning in tanzania! it's been some kinda ride so far and it's only the beginning!!!
hoping to post pics later!
love ya'll
i cannot express how it felt going to get the visa in my hands adn then to get my lugggage. the whole trip i dreaded the visa process because of a dream that i had where they wouldn't let me into the country. but the visa went fine and i was in and out in no time. they told me to go thru but i was kinda nervous since it looked all official and what not. so an officer told me to go and escorted me through most of it. i then waited and waited for my bags to come. i was extremely relieve to have my visa and now i could only think about my bags, but i took a deep breath and prayed then waited for what seemed like forever. finally they came and i went out, searching for Iris. when i saw her smile and wave relief washed thru me. i had made it! after 24 hours of traveling i had made it! her friends, david and ditram, took my bags and instantly made me feel really welcome.
i wanted to hug iris so big and help her understand how happy i was to be here and how glad i was to be with her. instead i drank in all that was around me and breathed deep the tanzanian air. i was here! every once in a while during the drive to Iris's place i would exclaim "i'm so happy to be here!" or "i'm in africa!" david and ditram would just laugh at me.
thank you for your prayers of safety, they worked so far. thank you for the stuff you donated. thank you for everything. until later, usiku mwea! (good night!)
i wrote this last night, but was just able to post this morning.
i watched the sunrise over the north sea, the sunset over africa and woke up this morning in tanzania! it's been some kinda ride so far and it's only the beginning!!!
hoping to post pics later!
love ya'll
Sunday, June 12, 2011
One more thing
This was shared with me and I thought it was good. Maybe you guys would pray a similar thing for me and the young people in your lives... It's a VERY unselfish prayer... You may find it hard to swallow but ask God to help you see His Will in this prayer.
This is by Paul Washer, Heartcry Missionary Society
"Oh, that God would raise up missionaries. I don't wish the same things your parents want for you. They want for you security and insurance and nice homes. They want for you cars and respect. I want for you the same thing I want for my son, that one day he takes a banner, the banner of Jesus Christ, and he places it on a hill where no one has ever placed a banner before, and he cries out, "JESUS CHRIST IS LORD" even if it costs my son his life. Oh, when he's 18 years old, if he says to me the same thing I said when I was a young man, "i'm going into the mountains. I'm going into the jungle." And they said" You can't go there. You're insane. It's a war. You're gonna die." I'm going. When that little boy puts on that backpack, I'm going to pray over him and say, "GO! God be with you, and if you die, my son, I'll see you over there and I'll honor your death"
Oh God, let's pray, let's pray,
Oh God, I don't care about reputation. I don't care what men think. I want You to be honored. I want these young people to be saved. I want those that are saved to stop looking around at a cultural Christianity that You hate and will spew out of Your mouth, and that they will look at the Word of God and say, "I will follow Jesus".
Oh God I pray for the youth ministers and pastors and I pray that You'd fill them with the spirit of wisdom and love and boldness and discernment. And dear God, whatever the cost, I pray that You will raise up missionaries. I can't help but look at these kids and think of my own little boy, Oh God, that You would save Ian and that You would raise him up and send him into the worst part of the battle. Oh, dear God, raise up missionaries here. Raise up missionaries. Raise up preachers and pastors and teachers and evangelists that know the Work of God. Oh, God, work in this place, please work in this place, dear God. Please. Please. Please."
This is by Paul Washer, Heartcry Missionary Society
"Oh, that God would raise up missionaries. I don't wish the same things your parents want for you. They want for you security and insurance and nice homes. They want for you cars and respect. I want for you the same thing I want for my son, that one day he takes a banner, the banner of Jesus Christ, and he places it on a hill where no one has ever placed a banner before, and he cries out, "JESUS CHRIST IS LORD" even if it costs my son his life. Oh, when he's 18 years old, if he says to me the same thing I said when I was a young man, "i'm going into the mountains. I'm going into the jungle." And they said" You can't go there. You're insane. It's a war. You're gonna die." I'm going. When that little boy puts on that backpack, I'm going to pray over him and say, "GO! God be with you, and if you die, my son, I'll see you over there and I'll honor your death"
Oh God, let's pray, let's pray,
Oh God, I don't care about reputation. I don't care what men think. I want You to be honored. I want these young people to be saved. I want those that are saved to stop looking around at a cultural Christianity that You hate and will spew out of Your mouth, and that they will look at the Word of God and say, "I will follow Jesus".
Oh God I pray for the youth ministers and pastors and I pray that You'd fill them with the spirit of wisdom and love and boldness and discernment. And dear God, whatever the cost, I pray that You will raise up missionaries. I can't help but look at these kids and think of my own little boy, Oh God, that You would save Ian and that You would raise him up and send him into the worst part of the battle. Oh, dear God, raise up missionaries here. Raise up missionaries. Raise up preachers and pastors and teachers and evangelists that know the Work of God. Oh, God, work in this place, please work in this place, dear God. Please. Please. Please."
One more day :)
In Atlanta now... Getting ready to fly out tomorrow. I kept thinking I should've flown out of Tallahassee or Jacksonville or even Valdosta for various reasons, but I am glad I didn't. I am so thankful for this extra time I have gotten to spen with mom and dad today. We have had quite the adventure. Prolly the coolest was when we decided to go to the airport and then backtrack to find a hotel, lol. Well I don't think I have ever been so close to the runway! I was driving but for a moment I completely forgot that I was and found myself staring in awe at the planes going over our heads! I know I'm like a kid sometimes and I pray that I never lose that child-likeness (after all Jesus said those are the ones that would inherit the kingdom). Dad and I rolled the windows down to get the full effect and then we all laughed! It was great. You can hear the planes before you see them, so over and over we would say "here comes another one!" it was great. Well the hotel we are staying at is really close to the airport so every time we go outsid I can't help but stare up at the sky and think wow! (I noticed mom and dad staring too, lol) tomorrow maybe someone will be looking up at my plane and that will make them smile too :)
Last night I laid in bed and thought "this is the last night I will sleep in this bed for 6 weeks." there have been a lot of lasts for 6 wks in the past few days. When I think of it like this way I get really anxious and I find the verse in my head,
Philippians 4:6
The Message (MSG)
6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Then I remember also that God has called me to this trip, He has confirmed it over and over by supplying for my every need. He has a plan for my life that He is slowly unveiling to me. He is giving me a righteous discontentment and an intolerance. At the very same time He has taught me over the years that not everyone understands. Some people are hardhearted, stone-cold... Past the point of being convicted by the things that come out of there mouths and from their hearts. They cannot see that every person, no matter the color of their skin, no matter their lifestyle and especially no matter whether we agree with them, like them or love them or not, HE LOVES THEM!
A lady at the store yesterday asked me where I was going and I told her that I wAs going to Africa. She said sarcastically "don't you get enough of that here?" I smirked and said "it's not the same..." I must've pissed her off cause she didn't have anything tot say after that. I wanted to say so much wrong, tell her of her ignorance, tell her that it's "Christians" like her that make matters worse, tell her that... Well I wanted to tell her a lot of things but I bowed my head and prayed, "God forgive her... She knows what she is saying and doing but her heart is too hard... Lord forgive her and soften her heart to see how wrong she really is..." I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be, but I am coming to understand that you cannot lump people together and make assumptions about them, and if you are a Christ-followerer you cannot refuse to show them love...
God let us be Your hands and feet yes, but Lord let us be conveyors of Your heart. Come into us, make Your home in us and live through us... Because God we cannot do this in our own strength... By You alone can we do this thing right
Last night I laid in bed and thought "this is the last night I will sleep in this bed for 6 weeks." there have been a lot of lasts for 6 wks in the past few days. When I think of it like this way I get really anxious and I find the verse in my head,
Philippians 4:6
The Message (MSG)
6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Then I remember also that God has called me to this trip, He has confirmed it over and over by supplying for my every need. He has a plan for my life that He is slowly unveiling to me. He is giving me a righteous discontentment and an intolerance. At the very same time He has taught me over the years that not everyone understands. Some people are hardhearted, stone-cold... Past the point of being convicted by the things that come out of there mouths and from their hearts. They cannot see that every person, no matter the color of their skin, no matter their lifestyle and especially no matter whether we agree with them, like them or love them or not, HE LOVES THEM!
A lady at the store yesterday asked me where I was going and I told her that I wAs going to Africa. She said sarcastically "don't you get enough of that here?" I smirked and said "it's not the same..." I must've pissed her off cause she didn't have anything tot say after that. I wanted to say so much wrong, tell her of her ignorance, tell her that it's "Christians" like her that make matters worse, tell her that... Well I wanted to tell her a lot of things but I bowed my head and prayed, "God forgive her... She knows what she is saying and doing but her heart is too hard... Lord forgive her and soften her heart to see how wrong she really is..." I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be, but I am coming to understand that you cannot lump people together and make assumptions about them, and if you are a Christ-followerer you cannot refuse to show them love...
God let us be Your hands and feet yes, but Lord let us be conveyors of Your heart. Come into us, make Your home in us and live through us... Because God we cannot do this in our own strength... By You alone can we do this thing right
Monday, June 6, 2011
pray for me
hey guys! I'm going to be gone for a total of 48 days. I am hoping to get one person per day to pray for me. Would any of ya'll consider doing that??? if you will please let me know the date that you would like to pray for me on. if i have enough people then i will get two a day :) thanks so much!!!!
M T W R F S S
C 14 P/L D J J S June
L/B/J J J D 24 25 S
L/B 28 L D 1 2 S July
L/E 5 L D 8 9 S
L 12 L D 15 16 S
L 19 L D 22 23 S
L/M 26 L D
James 5:16
The prayer of the righteous man is powerful and effective
M T W R F S S
C 14 P/L D J J S June
L/B/J J J D 24 25 S
L/B 28 L D 1 2 S July
L/E 5 L D 8 9 S
L 12 L D 15 16 S
L 19 L D 22 23 S
L/M 26 L D
James 5:16
The prayer of the righteous man is powerful and effective
Sunday, June 5, 2011
ramblings from a mended heart
yesterday i went to my lil sister's graduation party. it was the first time i had to say goodbye because of my trip. since school got out on friday, things have become a lil more real, but saying goodbye yesterday made it even more real. it was like "holy crap this is really happening!"
i have had a lot of donations lately and i am extremely grateful for all of them. people have donated toothpaste, toothbrushes, more jerseys (i'm now at 35), socks, money... the list keeps going and all of this just reaffirms the very true reality that God will provide.
it's crazy in this american world that we live in, we have very little reason to rely on God and His provisions. but every time He has sent me somewhere, every time He says "Go!" i am reminded of His faithfulness to provide. and as i look forward to my future in missions, one day being a long term missionary in field, i have no doubt that He will provide, because He has put it in my heart to do these things and these things are His will according to His Word (Matthew 28, James 1:27)
people keep asking me "are you nervous?" "are you scared?", the answer is yes i am a lil nervous at times, but that nervousness quickly subsides and is replaced with faith and excitement. faith because i wouldn't be going if it weren't for God providing the funds for my flight through my grandfather. faith because i know He has sent me. excitement because i know this trip will change my life, that it will bring clarity to my future plans and that it will cement the things that God has already put in my heart to do. i know these things because i have asked and i know that God being the Good Father that he is will give me those things.
i have been reminded lately of my past ... i know now, because of the last few years, that i will never be truly happy outside of God and His Will for my life. i have tried it the world's way and it brought nothingness to my life. there were good times, fun times, but in the end when i laid in my bed in the darkness of the night there was nothingness. there was no purpose, no reason, no life, no joy... but with God... ha... there is an endless amount of everythingness and it's wonderful.
this is my last week in the states for 6 wks, my last weekend is coming up... last time i will see people, spend time with people, for 6 wks. so many things to do... so many people to see... God prepare me. God prepare my family and friends.
i have had a lot of donations lately and i am extremely grateful for all of them. people have donated toothpaste, toothbrushes, more jerseys (i'm now at 35), socks, money... the list keeps going and all of this just reaffirms the very true reality that God will provide.
it's crazy in this american world that we live in, we have very little reason to rely on God and His provisions. but every time He has sent me somewhere, every time He says "Go!" i am reminded of His faithfulness to provide. and as i look forward to my future in missions, one day being a long term missionary in field, i have no doubt that He will provide, because He has put it in my heart to do these things and these things are His will according to His Word (Matthew 28, James 1:27)
people keep asking me "are you nervous?" "are you scared?", the answer is yes i am a lil nervous at times, but that nervousness quickly subsides and is replaced with faith and excitement. faith because i wouldn't be going if it weren't for God providing the funds for my flight through my grandfather. faith because i know He has sent me. excitement because i know this trip will change my life, that it will bring clarity to my future plans and that it will cement the things that God has already put in my heart to do. i know these things because i have asked and i know that God being the Good Father that he is will give me those things.
i have been reminded lately of my past ... i know now, because of the last few years, that i will never be truly happy outside of God and His Will for my life. i have tried it the world's way and it brought nothingness to my life. there were good times, fun times, but in the end when i laid in my bed in the darkness of the night there was nothingness. there was no purpose, no reason, no life, no joy... but with God... ha... there is an endless amount of everythingness and it's wonderful.
this is my last week in the states for 6 wks, my last weekend is coming up... last time i will see people, spend time with people, for 6 wks. so many things to do... so many people to see... God prepare me. God prepare my family and friends.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Let's Go!
Hey guys!!!
I wanted to be able to keep in contact with everyone while I am gone, so I decided to start a blog. I hope you will follow me and check it to see where I am what's going on and how you can pray for me if you so choose.
Thanks so much for those of you who have made this trip possible. I will forever be grateful to you :)
I wanted to be able to keep in contact with everyone while I am gone, so I decided to start a blog. I hope you will follow me and check it to see where I am what's going on and how you can pray for me if you so choose.
Thanks so much for those of you who have made this trip possible. I will forever be grateful to you :)
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