Wow what a ride!

My Facebook status currently says, "I'm coming home, I'm coming home. Tell the world I'm coming home." it's been one helluva ride to say the least! 6 total countries in a little over 6 weeks! I've slept in 13 different beds in those weeks. I've been hosted by 5 families, most of which Iris and I had never met until they showed up to pick us up! I've spent over 5 days en route since I left Madison and it will be over 6 days by the time I get back. So I've spent almost a week of those 6 wks and change traveling! Lol what a ride huh?
To say I'm different because of this trip would be the understatement of the summer. When you constantly have no idea what's next, when yu are constantly at other people's mercy and grace, these only One you can depend on. This trip has successfully pushed me into My Father's arms. I have realized that in the end I have no control over anything. I cannot make one things happen, but I can ask my Almighty Father who is the creator of the universe to do anything.
It's hard to describe all that has happened in my life since I left Madison, but this is my attempt at debriefing.
I thin the hardest thing for me has been all the traveling. If I never have to get on another overcorwded bus/taxi where the windows don't work or I never have to get on another long distance bus it will be too soon! As much as I hated these events, they were a must. They taught me to look forward to the future and in the Christian walk that's exactly what we should always be doing. They also gave me time to think and process. I used this time to think about my life, my Savior, the work that He has given me to do, the future and relationships. I can't say the latter was always beneficial. In fact a lot of the time I was fighting with my mind and heart over these things and sorting out hurts. I don't know why people hurt other people, but I suppose it has something to do with selfishness and self-centeredness and in a lot of cases out right lostness. There are some relationships I still have not come to terms with. I still haven't completely forgiven them for their trepasses against me, though every day and sometimes hrs in the day I find myself fighting to find within myself the grace and mercy to forgive them. It's what I have to do, because I cannot refuse to forgive when my Gracious God has forgiven me so much. In this I have learned to ask God not to help me forgive but to be my forgiveness, to be my mercy, my compassion, my grace, to be all the things I cannot be, that I cannot find within myself.
I also hated the inconsistency. Being in so many different beds, so many different homes, living outta suitcase, constantly packing up and unpacking. I hated sharing a bed. I haven't slept a night through since I left Madison. I'm tired. But isnt this the kind of life that Jesus sent the disciples out to live? He told them not to even take a bag, but to depend on e kindness of strangers, brothers and sisters. I have to say that the hospitality if those we stayed with continues to amaze me. I made the comment once to someone that I felt these people had no choice because they were Christians. I later wondered if this was wrong, but it isn't. We are the body of Christ. It's our job to take care of each other. Even more so when we take people in, feed them, give them a roof over their heads, help provide for their needs, when we do these things we are really doing them to Christ. So then, would we deny Christ? And do we Really even have a choice? Most Christian Americans suck at this. We put people up in hotels instead of inviting them into our homes. We take them out to eat instead of preparing a meal for them and inviting them into our homes. But that's if we do anything at all. Typically we expect them to make their own arrangements. I cannot tell you how it felt knowing that you would get off a bus after 17 hrs and someone would be waiting for you. They would take your bags for you recognizing how tired you were. They would take you to their house, feed you or offer you tea. They would provide you with hot water to shower and give you a warm bed to sleep on, even if that meant they would sleep on a couch or a floor. I also cannot tell you how it felt when we arrived after 14 hrs and no one being there to pick you up, having to wait as it got dark and then having to make yur own arrangements. Not knowing what you would eat after having only a few snacks all day... This is a horrid feeling to say the least.
Even though I hated these things, I found God faithful in my whole trip. When I needed Him He came through. Sometimes He answered prayers I had only just breathed or subconsciously thought. Smetimes He made a way before we even knew it needed making. And the majority of e type He used His people to do it. My God is an awesome God!
My biggest fear now is that I would lose my first love. That some how I would go back to America and find myself being changed and influenced by my culture and well meaning Christians. I don't wanna be changed by them, I wanna be changed by Him. I wanna become a barbarian for Christ. (if you haven't read The Barbarian Way, heres where I tell you to buy it NOW and READ IT!) I have never wanted to be the average Joe, never wanted to be "normal" but now I see this not as want but necessity. People are dying without Jesus... Something has to be done and someone has to do it. It's about time that people read the new testament and realized that there's no such thing as a call to missions or a heart for local missions and a heart for foreign missions. Jesus said go into the world. Gods will is that NO ONE should die without Him.the only call is from Jesus for us to accept Him and His way. Once we have done this we have accepted the call to missions. I am not saying that we should all sell everything and give it to the poor, but we should be asking God if we should do it instead of assuming He would never ask us to. I'm also not saying that everyone should move overseas, but I think we should be asking God if He would have us to instead of just sitting in comfort. Everyone should be doing something to reach the people around them, but not just stopping there. They should be doing something to reach those across the seas and oceans. We have the resources to wipe out poverty in this generation... And we have the resources to preach the gospel to the world... So what are we doing? I don't believe that I will stand before God one day and He will be ashamed of me for selling out for Him, for becoming a barbarian for Him. But I think if I stood before Him next to someone I could've fed or clothed or hugged or loved... And I didn't... Then I will be ashamed... And I will wish I had done more. I don't wanna wish I had done more... And so I'm gonna choose a different path. A path that won't make sense to some (much like the paths of the greats of the bibles didn't make sense to others at the time) and I'm gonna run down it, as fast as I can! I'm going to run the race that God has set before me, because after all He's done for me, how could I not?
Here's to the next year of my life and the years to come! Here's to my God! He's to our future together! Here's to eternity with Him and all my brothers and sisters! Amen!